What Not: A Prophetic Comedy Read online

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  WHAT NOT

  A PROPHETIC COMEDY

  BY ROSE MACAULAY

  AUTHOR OF "NON-COMBATANTS," "THE MAKING OF A BIGOT," ETC.

  LONDON CONSTABLE AND COMPANY LTD. 1918

  TO CIVIL SERVANTS I HAVE KNOWN

  * * * * *

  "Wisdom is very unpleasant to the unlearned: he that is without understanding will not remain with her. She will lie upon him as a mighty stone of trial; and he will cast her from him ere it be long. For wisdom is according to her name, and she is not manifest unto many....

  "Desire not a multitude of unprofitable children...."

  Jesus, Son of Sirach, _c._ B.C. 150.

  * * * * *

  "It's domestickness of spirit, selvishnesse, which is the great let to Armies, Religions, and Kingdomes good."

  W. GREENHILL, 1643.

  * * * * *

  "It has come to a fine thing if people cannot live in their homes without being interfered with by the police.... You are upsetting the country altogether with your Food Orders and What Not."

  DEFENDANT IN A FOOD-HOARDING CASE, _January, 1918._

  NOTE.

  As this book was written during the war, and intended prophetically, itsdelay until some months after the armistice calls for a word ofexplanation.

  The book was ready for publication in November, 1918, when it wasdiscovered that a slight alteration in the text was essential, tosafeguard it against one of the laws of the realm. As the edition wasalready bound, this alteration has naturally taken a considerable time.

  However, as the date of the happenings described in "What Not" isunspecified, it may still be regarded as a prophecy, not yet disproved.

  R. M.

  _March, 1919_

  APOLOGY

  One cannot write for evermore of life in war-time, even if, as at timesseems possible, the war outlasts the youngest of us. Nor can one easilywrite of life as it was before this thing came upon us, for that is aqueer, half-remembered thing, to make one cry. This is a tale of lifeafter the war, in which alone there is hope. So it is, no doubt,inaccurate, too sanguine in part, too pessimistic in part, too foolishand too far removed from life as it will be lived even for a novel. Itis a shot in the dark, a bow drawn at a venture. But it is the best onecan do in the unfortunate circumstances, which make against all kinds oftruth, even that inferior kind which is called accuracy. Truth, indeed,seems to be one of the things, along with lives, wealth, joy, leisure,liberty, and forest trees, which has to be sacrificed on the altar ofthis all-taking war, this bitter, unsparing god, which may perhapsbefore the end strip us of everything we possess except the integrity ofour so fortunately situated island, our indomitable persistence in theteeth of odds, and the unstemmed eloquence of our leaders, all of whichwe shall surely retain.

  This book is, anyhow, so far as it is anything beyond an attempt toamuse the writer, rather of the nature of suggestion than of prophecy,and many will think it a poor suggestion at that. The suggestion is of apossible remedy for what appears to have always been the chief humanailment, and what will, probably, after these present troubles, be evenmore pronounced than before. For wars do not conduce to intelligence.They put a sudden end to many of the best intellects, the keenest,finest minds, which would have built up the shattered ruins of the worldin due time. And many of the minds that are left are battered andstupefied; the avenues of thought are closed, and people are too tired,too old, or too dulled by violence, to build up anything at all. Andbesides these dulled and damaged minds, there are the great mass of theminds which neither catastrophe nor emotion nor violence nor age nor anyother creature can blunt, because they have never been acute, have neverhad an edge, can cut no ice nor hew any new roads.

  So, unless something drastic is done about it, it seems like a poorlook-out.

  This book contains the suggestion of a means of cure for this world-oldill, and is offered, free, to a probably inattentive and unresponsiveGovernment, a close and interested study of whom has led the writer tobelieve that the erection of yet another Department might not be whollyuncongenial.

  It will be observed that the general state of the world and of societyin this so near and yet so unknown future has been but lightly touchedupon. It is unexplored territory, too difficult for the present writer,and must be left to the forecastings of the better informed.

  A word as to the title of this work, which may seem vague, or evenfoolish. Its source I have given. Food Orders we all know; What Not wasnot defined by the user of the phrase, except by the remark that itupset the country. The businesses described in this tale fulfil thatdefinition; and, if they be not What Not, I do not know what is.

  _April, 1918._

  CONTENTS

  I. THE MINISTRY

  II. LITTLE CHANTREYS

  III. BRAINS SUNDAY

  IV. OUR WEEK

  V. THE EXPLANATION CAMPAIGN

  VI. THE SIMPLE HUMAN EMOTIONS

  VII. THE BREAKING POINT

  VIII. ON FIXED HEARTS AND CHANGING SCENES

  IX. _THE COMMON HERD_

  X. A MINISTRY AT BAY

  XI. THE STORMING OF THE HOTEL

  XII. DEBRIS

  WHAT NOT